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A Parent's Role
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Helping Your Swimmer be More Successful
(Reprinted
from the United States Swimming National Age Group Camp Handbook
)
Be
Supportive. Both athlete and coach are likely to have a list of
performance criticisms for his/her performance, no matter how good it
might have been, so what the athlete needs from you is love and support.
On the other hand, don't try to provide excuses for poor performances. As
mentioned above, most athletes try to give their best performances in
every competition, but sometimes the results are disappointing. When that
happens, the less said, the better. The old adage, "If you can't say
anything nice, don't say anything at all," would probably be a good
one to follow. A swimmer is generally quite perceptive about his/her
swims, and is, after all, the only one who really knows how much effort
went into it. You and the coach only know what it looked like.
Leave Your Swimmer Alone. Your
swimmer already has enough problems: trying to go fast, keep his/her
start, stroke and turns legal, execute proper technique, impress his/her
teammates, friends and/or enemies, place, improve his/her time, score
points, please the coach, please him/herself, and so on. Don't add
additional pressure. Most athletes at all levels are already trying to
reach their best performances in every competition, and do not really need
you to remind them that you want them to do their best.
Avoid Criticism of the Coach in
Front of Your Swimmer. The role of the coach is to provide a
progressive training situation in which your swimmer can develop his/her
skills and speed. Placing the obstacle of criticism between coach and
swimmer creates an additional pressure on the swimmer, which can further
impair performances. Your swimmer needs to trust his/her coach in order to
get the most benefit from him or her. Your best bet if you don't like what
the coach is doing is to make an appointment with him or her to discuss
the situation. If you feel unable to talk with the coach, then perhaps you
should consider a different approach.
Don't Try to Coach Your Swimmer.
Regardless of how much you may know about swimming, you are not employed
to coach your child. You are paying someone else to do it, so let him/her
to do it. Your child needs you as a parent; he/she already has a coach.
When your child is swimming is the time for him/her to be coached. When
he/she is out of the water, he/she needs your support. Keep remembering
how difficult it is just to grow up, and then figure how much additional
pressure there is in a competitive sport. You can help your swimmer by not
being the source of more pressure.
Do Not Jump From Team to Team.
The water isn't necessarily bluer at the other team's pool. Every team has
its own internal problems, even teams that build champions. Children who
switch from team to team are often ostracized for a long, long time by the
teammates they leave behind. Often times swimmers who do switch teams
never do better than they did before they sought the bluer water.
Remember That Swimming Should Be
Fun. As long as kids enjoy swimming, they will have a healthy,
productive activity in which to be involved. When swimming becomes a
negative experience, the swimmer is likely to want to stop. All athletes
need motivation to attain their ultimate goals. When a swimmer fails to
reach his/her goal, he should be encouraged to keep on trying, rather than
discouraged by being shown how disappointed you are. When he achieves a
goal, let him/her know how proud you are and stress the fun aspect of the
sport.
Whose Goals Are They, Anyway? Your
swimmer's performance is not a reflection on you. (His manners may be,
but not his/her swimming.) Don't let your ego be caught up in your
reaction to his/her swims. If your simmer eventually reaches national or
international prominence, it will be because he/she has worked for it, not
because his/her parents wanted the vicarious success.
Make Sure The Swimmer Has Goals
Besides Winning. Giving an honest effort regardless of what the
outcome is much more important than winning. One Olympian said, "My
goal was to set a world record. Well, I did that, but someone else did it
too, just a little faster than I did. I achieved my goal and I lost. This
does not make me a failure, in fact, I am very proud of that swim."
Be Enthusiastic and Supportive.
Remember that your child is the swimmer. Children need to establish their
own goals and make their own progress towards them. Be careful not to
impose your own standards and goals. Do not over burden your child with
winning and achieving best times. The most important part of your child's
swimming experience is that he/she learns about him/herself while enjoying
the sport. This healthy environment encourages learning and fun, which
will develop a positive self-image within your child.
In the meantime, while your swimmer is working towards his/her goals, keep
encouraging him/her to reach out and to strive towards excellence, and be
sure to let him/her know you think he/she is pretty terrific!
Ten
Commandments for Swim Parents
(Adapted
by Rose Snyder from Ed Cledaniel’s "Ten Commandment for Little
League Parents")
1. Thou shalt not impose your
ambitions on thy child.
Remember that swimming is your child's activity. Improvements and
progress occur at different rates for each individual. Don't judge
your child's progress based on the performance of other athletes and don't
push them based on what you think they should be doing. The nice
thing about swimming is every person can strive to do his or her personal
best.
There is only one question to ask your child "Did you have fun?"
If meets and practices are not fun, your child should not be forced to
participate.
You have taken your child to a professional coach. Do not undermine
that coach by trying to coach your child on the side. You job is to
support, love and hug your child no matter what. The coach is
responsible for the technical part of the job. You should not offer
advice on technique or race strategy. That is not your area.
This will only serve to confuse your child and prevent that swimmer/coach
bond from forming.
If you are going to show up at a swimming meet, you should cheer and
applaud, but never criticize your child or the coach.
At a swimming meet any race can cause a stressful situation. It is
totally appropriate for your child to be scared. Don't yell or
belittle, just assure your child that the coach would not have suggested
the event if your child was not ready to compete in it.
If you do not have the time or the desire to volunteer as an official,
don't criticize those who are doing the best they can.
The bond between coach and swimmer is a special one, and one that
contributes to your child's success as well as fun. Do not criticize
the coach in the presence of your child, it will only serve to hurt your
child's swimming.
The water isn't necessarily bluer at the other team's pool. Every
team has its own internal problems, even teams that build champions.
Children who switch from team to team are often ostracized for a long,
long time by the teammates they leave behind. Oftentimes, swimmers
who do switch teams never do better than they did before they sought the
bluer water.
Giving an honest effort regardless of what the outcome is is much more
important than winning. One Olympian said, "My goal was to set
a world record. Well, I did that, but someone else did it too, just
a little faster than I did. I achieved my goal and I lost.
This does not make me a failure, in fact, I am very proud of that
swim."
There are over 300,000 athletes who swim. There are only 52 spots
available for the Olympic Team every four years. Your child's odds
of becoming an Olympian are 1 in about 5,000. Swimming is much more
than just the Olympics. Ask your coach why they coach. Chances
are, he was not an Olympian, but still got enough out of swimming that
they want to pass that love for the sport on to others. Swimming
teaches self-discipline and sportsmanship; it builds self-esteem and
fitness; it provides lifelong friendships and much more. Most
Olympians will tell you that these intangibles far outweigh any medal they
may have won. Swimming builds good people and you should be happy
that your child wants to participate.
Other
Recommendations on Parental Behavior
(These recommendations are adapted from an article by sports
psychology expert Rick Wolfe, author of Good Sports, The Concerned
Parent's Guide to Competitive Youth Sports.)
Unfortunately,
children's extracurricular activities today are often marred by the
involvement of parents who lose their perspective of what is important and
how to behave appropriately. Here is a reminder of how grown-ups
should act at kids' swim meets and practices.
1. Talk about the
other kids on the team, as well as on other teams, in the same manner that
you would want parents to talk about your own child.
This
is the golden rule applied to all sports. Sitting in the stands watching
the meet is a social affair. When you are making conversation, think about
what you are saying before you actually say it. To be on the safe side,
only voice praise for the other children. That way, you'll never go wrong.
2.
It's nice to give the coach a pat on the back when your child swims well
or the team is doing great.
It is even nicer when you give the coach a pat on the back when your child
is swimming poorly.
3.
Give officials a pat on the back too.
The officials
are volunteers who sacrifice their time to provide safe, fair competitions
for your child and help them learn their strokes correctly. Consider being
an official yourself.
4.
Remind your child that it is the effort that counts.
We know all the kids want to win. Everyone wants a best time. But if there
are winners, there will be losers, and times will not improve every swim.
Be prepared to cushion your child's disappointment by pointing out how
proud you are of their hard work and effort.
5.
Avoid the post meet analysis.
When the meet is over and your child climbs back in the car, avoid AT ALL
COSTS the detailed, excruciating analysis of everything they did right or
wrong. Just let them chill out, savor the fun of having swum, and relax.
The absolute worst time for "friendly criticism" is immediately
after the meet.
6.
Smile a lot.
Kids' sports are about having fun, and because kids take their behavioral
cues from you, try at least to look like you are enjoying yourself.
7.
If you aren't a good sport at the meets then your child won't be either.
If you blame
the coaches, the other swimmers, the officials for your swimmer's
performance, then they will copy your behavior and won't accept
responsibility for themselves.
8. Learn the rules.
Know the schedules. Read your website, ask questions and make it your job
to know what is going on.
9.
If you must yell at the meets, shout only praise and encouragement.
There is never any place for derogatory, snide or sarcastic remarks at
children's meets.
10.
Above all, be there for your children.
Support them, praise them, and let them know you can always be counted on
for unconditional love, regardless of the times they swim.
The Parental
Agreement:
________________________
Parent
Signarture
________________________
Wet Floor
Water Polo
"Pain is weakness leaving the body."